Article by Markup
on 01/08/2001.
This is an attempt to "capture" the holographic cover that the original Jack Frost 2 videos and DVDs came with. Sadly, this is not nearly as scary or cool as the hologram on the cover of the FIRST movie, but it isn't too bad.
Genre: Horror (Slasher). The serial killer comes back from the dead (again) with super-powers and dismembers people. Yada yada yada.
Rating: R. Not for little kids, girlfriends, or people that get scared while watch The Wizard of Oz.
Nudity: 4 (Full Frontal and Rear). There is a long scene involving a naked woman and a pool.
Sex: 1 (Sexual Comments). Besides a few comments, there is no sex.
Violence: 4 (Blood and Death). It is a HORROR MOVIE SEQUEL, so there's TWICE as much blood!
Cult Factor: 3 (Moderate Cult Factor). Like the first movie, this film will gain an instant cult following BECAUSE it is about a snowman that kills people. The kill scenes, in fact, are much more interesting than in the first.. but lack anything to top the strangeness of the snowman rape scene in the original. Because it lacks that "cult-hook,' it can't score a 4 like its predecessor.
..and the Long Line of Bad
Sequels STARTS!
At least these films can't sink much further. I mean, the first movie had an extremely fake-looking snowman RAPE a girl in a shower, so anything would be in improvement, right? For the most part, RIGHT! Unlike the first movie during which I constantly HAD to hit the fast-forward button in order to remain entertained, THIS film is good enough that breaking your finger on the "FWD" button ISN'T necessary. Sure, the beginning is slow, but.. well, we will get to that in a second. First, a few notes about the movie.
Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman is a low-budget horror film, but not as low-budget as the first. It was recorded using high-definition digital cameras, so the picture is extremely crisp (especially on the DVD). In all, it isn't a HORRIBLE film, and easily could have been a "made for pay-TV" movie instead of a direct-to-video release. Heck, this is MUCH better than a lot of the HBO-original films I've seen recently.. which is more a testament to how far the network has sunk in the past year than the quality of this film. But enough rambling! It is time for you all to experience the movie...
..And All Was Right in Snowmonton.
At first, this just looks like an ordinary introductory sequence designed to get the viewer up to speed on the previous film. But when you listen to the director's commentary on the DVD, you learn this is actually a scene designed to enlighten confused fans as to the ideas and concepts behind the first movie. Aren't YOU GLAD SOMEONE HAS THE SPECIAL EDITION SO THAT YOU CAN LEARN THESE THINGS?!?!?!
Almost a year has passed
since Jack Frost, the serial killer that was transformed into a killer
snowman while travelling to what was supposed to be his execution, was
defeated by Sheriff Sam and the people of Snowmonton. Though things SEEM
all right, the scars are still apparent on a number of people - including
Sam, who sees a therapist once a week. During his most recent session,
Sam again relates the story of Jack Frost.. only to be laughed at by the
doctor's entire staff, who listen in via an intercom. Needless to say,
no one believes that the sheriff battled a mutant killer snowman and then
buried it in an unmarked grave. No one, that is, except...
Extremely poorly lit shots are the norm during
the introduction.
..members of the town! One of them reveals the location of the grave, and is killed for his efforts. Jack (trapped in anti-freeze) is then dug up and taken to a lab, where scientists try to revive him for their own nefarious schemes.
Down the hatch! Frosty gets some Starbucks in his aquarium.
Of
course, they are unable to actually REVIVE him until an idiot janitor comes
along and accidently knocks a cup of coffee into Jack Frost's tank. When
that happens...
The coffee WAKES HIM UP. Nothing like legal stimulants from Columbia to get the old juices flowing! And with Jack awake, PEOPLE GOTTA DIE!Seeing Jack Frost's molecules as a chemical reaction occurs has become a tradition.
Just another victim of the blizzard that is JACK FROST.
The
first to go is the clumsy janitor that knocked the coffee into the box.
Jack explodes his glass prison by freezing it in ice (which I assume then
expanded), and a huge shard nails the poor blue-collar worker in the mouth.
Then Jack escapes the lab by turning into water and going down the drain.
Where, you ask..?
The Colonel, Sam, and his wife talk happily BEFORE
THE MASSACRE BEGINS!
A tropical island! The Sheriff goes to a tropical island to be the best man for his friend Joe's wedding, and JACK follows! Of course, we never learn HOW Jack is able to survive swimming in a tropical ocean, but that's doesn't matter - he finds two castaways to murder and steals their only food (a carrot). Man, it is too bad ol' Jack didn't meet up with Tom Hanks in the ocean, because THAT scene would have been OSCAR MATERIAL! Anyway...
Sometimes it doesn't pay to look up.
Jack finally swims to
the island, and the NEXT WAVE OF KILLING BEGINS! Our snowman stumbles onto
three girls at a campfire and decides to have some fun! After failing to
hit Ashley (who was out getting coal?! for the fire) with about a dozen
icicles, Jack just decides to drop an ice-anvil on her head. It works,
and her absence brings PAISLEY away from the campfire and into the killzone.
She gets an icicle through the foot, then falls on a row of ice-daggers
that finish her off. That leaves Rose as THE ONLY ONE LEFT ALIVE ON THE
BEACH.
What great line does Jack Frost tell to Rose before killing her? Click on the image to find out!
Not for long! The killer
snowman grabs the tongs Rose was using to defend herself and stabs the
young girl in the eyes! That's gotta hurt! And so ends the first night
of killings on the tropical island!
And so Jack Rests.
And so will we (for now). Keep watching for our next installment on this piece! The body count grows, Boglins get ripped off, and a tribute to Gremlins are all to come!
Bonus Items
Related: The film Uncle Sam was done later in a similar fashion. Uncle Sam attempts to take another "friendly icon" and turn it into a horror movie, but doesn't do nearly as good of a job. It does have Isaac Hayes in it, though! Hayes and his "Crazy Kids" lines make it seem like a live-action South Park episode, minus the talking poo. It is available on Video and DVD.
Original Film: Jack Frost. You can read a review of the original by clicking HERE.
Amazon.com shopping:
VHS Video version of Jack Frost 2.
The superior DVD version of the movie.