When egos collide, ONLY ONE MEGATRON WILL BE LEFT STANDING!

..The Adventure Continues!

    When last we saw our anti-heroes, the Megatrons were making their way to The Valley of Statues in order to find out WHICH Megatron was the greatest of all time. Only Generation 2 Megatron, Beast Wars Megatron, Transmetal 2 Megatron, and Beast Machines Megatron remained.

The Judgment Begins.

    Eventually, the remaining Megatrons began to arrive at The Valley of Statues.

    The first to make his presence known was Beast Machines Megatron. Able to transform into a flying dragon, he had no problem traveling to the location.

Beast Machines Megatron: Didn't I see FIVE of you guys when I was flying overhead?

Original Cobra Commander: Maybe. You see, there have been A LOT of Cobra Commanders over the years. Some, however, just don't measure up to our style and fashion standards. So, if they.. disappear.. we don't really go looking for them. Understand?

Battlesuit Cobra Commander: I WASSSS ONCE A MAAAN. ONCCCCCCE A MAN!!!

Original Cobra Commander: It may be three Cobra Commanders before the night is through.

    Next, Generation 2 Megatron rolled up, followed close behind by Beast Wars Transmetal 2 Megatron.

    Finally, Beast Wars Megatron tromped in, and all of the remaining Megatrons had arrived! But just as the Cobra Commanders were about to declare that the challenge would begin, a voice rang out through the valley.

Mysterious Voice: Behold, Megatrons! I have waited a long time for this! Your doom is at hand!

Megatrons: Eh?

Galvatron: IT IS I, GALVATRON! I AM THE ULTIMATE EVOLUTION OF MEGATRON, AND I HAVE COME TO CLAIM MY PRIZE.

Generation 2 Megatron: I KNOW YOU! BECAUSE OF YOU AND THAT STUPID MOVIE, OUR LINE WAS EVENTUALLY CANCELED! WE WERE ALMOST NEVER BORN DUE TO YOUR INCOMPETENCE!

Beast Wars Megatron: I ended up becoming a DINOSAUR IN THE MIDDLE OF A TECHNOLOGICAL WASTELAND BECAUSE OF YOU!

Transmetal 2 Megatron: Your blinking laser gun can give children epileptic seizures! YOU SUCK!

Beast Machines Megatron: YEAH!

Generation 2 Megatron: Time to see if our aim has improved since the old days.

Galvatron: Ah.. JUST KIDDING! NO, IT WAS UNICRON! HE MADE ME DO THIS! DON'T...

Beast Machines Megatron: HOLY $%*&!!!

Beast Wars Megatron: I've never seen that happen before.

Generation 2 Megatron: How come that never happened when I shot the Autobots?

Transmetal 2 Megatron: Karma. Not even a celebrity voice-over could save him from all the negative energy he's built up over the years.

Original Cobra Commander: Well handled, Megatrons. Still, the judgment must begin, and we have decided that Beast Wars Megatron will be the first to go.

Beast Wars Megatron: But.. but.. why?!

Hooded Cobra Commander: Let me answer that. To put it bluntly, Grimlock did the whole T-Rex thing before you, and he looked better doing it. Therefore, you suck.

Beast Wars Megatron: But I have a better robot mode! Look!

Beast Wars Megatron: See? I've got it ALL OVER Grimlock! Who's the man.. er.. robot.

Hooded Cobra Commander: Fine. Count to ten.

Beast Wars Megatron: Er.. ahhh?

Hooded Cobra Commander: I'll make it easier. Count to five on your fingers.

Beast Wars Megatron: Screw you, man!

Hooded Cobra Commander: You have no hands. All you have is a giant mouth stuck on one arm and a pincher stuck on the other. Heck, you can't even give us the middle finger to show your anger. Pathetic.

Beast Wars Megatron: ::Sniffle:: I didn't want to be in your stupid contest anyway!

    And so, only 3 Megatrons were left. But that, too, was about to change.

Beast Machines Megatron: YOU KNOW I'M BAD, I'M BAD! YA KNOW IT! YA KNOW!

Voice: Ah-HUM!

Beast Machines Megatron: Who DARES to interrupt the singing of the GREATEST MEGATRON OF ALL TIME?!?!?!

Beast Machines Megatron: Eep!

Transmetal 2 Megatron: You know, I think we're both reasonable robots that are able to come to logical conclusions when given sufficient information. I mean, we are both extremely similar creatures - we both have wings, horns, and tails...

Beast Machines Megatron: but...

Transmetal 2 Megatron: ..but we also have some obvious differences. Take, for example, our size. You see, I'm over twice as tall as you are, and probably three times as wide. If I wanted to, I could crush you like the tiny flea that you are. So...

Beast Machines Megatron: ..and so, I officially withdraw from the competition and give my support to Transmetal 2 Megatron.

Hooded Cobra Commander RE-ISSUE: Wise move. Very wise. Now there are only two Megatrons left. Just TWO! We will break to discuss the finalists, and then re-convene in 5 minutes. In 5 MINUTES!

Diablo: Does he always do that?

Hooded Cobra Commander RE-ISSUE: Do I always do what? DO WHAT?!?!

Diablo: I see. Nevermind.

The End is NEAR!

    And so there were only two Megatrons left. But which one will be victorious? Find out in the next and FINAL installment of.. BATTLE OF THE MEGATRONS!

Amazon.com shopping:
 

Transformers: The Movie (DVD). Watch the movie that changed everything! Sure, it ultimately brought down the Transformers line, but now that you're older and the bitterness is gone, you can REALLY enjoy it! Relive the moment you heard your first cartoon character swear! Witness the actual DEATH of a Transformer! Also available in VHS.

Transformers: The Movie SOUNDTRACK. This CD will SAVE YOUR LIFE - I KID YOU NOT. Some day, you'll be in a situation where you don't think you can win; where your spirit is broken and you just don't have the drive to keep going. That's when you'll pop this CD into the player and punch up track 4: DARE by Stan Bush. Once you here that song, NOTHING WILL BE ABLE TO STOP YOU. You'll be so pumped that not even a thousand Unicrons can slow you down. YOU CAN WIN IF YOU DARE!

G.I. Joe: The Movie. In the same way that Transformers: The Movie ultimately brought down that toy line, G.I. Joe: The Movie brought down the Real American Hero. Still, this DVD is a lot of fun, especially the scene in which Cobra Commander is transformed into a.. well, we wouldn't want to spoil it for you. The DVD version also includes the G.I. Joe public service announcements which made the line "..and knowing is half the battle!" famous. A VHS version is also on the market, but lacks the public service announcements and other goodies on the DVD.

Transformers: The Return of Optimus Prime. These are the two cartoon episodes which some claim are the best of the series. When Optimus Prime's body is stolen and then infected with deadly alien spores, NO ONE is safe! See the return of a legend.. IF YOU DARE. Buy the Three Volume Set if you're interested in collecting all of the episodes - it saves time.
 

Search Amazon.com's video department for ALL of the old transforms episodes and other relevant material!
 

Search Amazon.com's video department for ALL of the old G.I. Joe episodes and other relevant material!